Am I My Own Keeper?
I’m here, taking risks in these mean relationships streets. And boy, this is hard to keep. Deep connections and brotherhood require using love as a verb. These things require proactive action and nurturing. They need a strong covenant. Not a pendulum that swings with the mood of the day. Yet, we are human, and grace is given to us more often than we deserve it. Even when we may think that we deserve it all. We don’t. That’s when forgiveness for self, and others, must be always at play.
“A mind becomes a detriment when it acquires more intelligence than its integrity can handle.”
- Culllen Hightower
Negative thought patterns, or Cognitive Distortions, are adopted for survival. They help us stay safe from harm and from hurt. But deep relationships are not built on safe, there is always risk. Without risk, there is no reward.
We often use words like “respect,” “reciprocity,” “vulnerability,” “accountability,” etc., and even speak at great length (and depth) about their meaning. We create spaces to “show up authentically” to discuss how to activate Divine Masculinity, to learn about Mental Strength, and engage in healthy conversations, about using the tools of Alchemy to find inner wisdom, to become well rounded “Wholly Men.” Yet, the mind has its wants, which do not always call for what is best. And, that’s when we go left, driving a car made of mediocre attempts, with the excuse of busyness, putting on a mask of the persona that fits the moment.
When you take the mask off, and look at the man in the mirror, is he looking back at you with kindness and forgiveness, or with shame and judgment?
Sometimes, we take a defeatist attitude and see the world fighting against us, when the reality is that we’re fighting against ourselves.
So, what do you really want? Who are you doing it for?
I’m part of Mastermind Connect*, a collective of progressive men designed to build together a community to help us become the best version of ourselves.
Or, am I really just seeking a social club to be a part of; to be accepted; to pass the time?
What’s really my intention?
Knowledge without action is useless. Even worse, action without passion and purpose is a meaningless existence.
Bitterness and resentment are real badass cousins that will put you to sleep in a chokehold, and kill your spirit in the process.
Am I my brother’s keeper? One can’t be anyone’s keeper, if one is not hydrated enough to keep oneself healthy, and able to lead with love.
Am I showing up authentically, doing my absolute best, and holding myself accountable to those I’ve committed to walk beside with?
There’s no room for blame. We are all responsible for our own journey. I am my own keeper. And, then, there’s the community that I choose to be a part of, and build with. They choose to keep me, as I do them.
Your greatness isn’t about you. Somewhere, someone is waiting for you to realize that. Who you are, they way you show up in this world, there’s someone else who is waiting on you, specifically to show up, so they can come out of the shadows themselves.
What’s your WHY?
When I was younger, and started working in retail, I remember someone in upper management saying “you’re only as good as your last sale.” That’s because a man doesn’t last long on what he has done. He has to keep on delivering. He has to keep showing up to become the best version of himself.
The World is before you and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.
- James Baldwin
If today you don’t succeed, then try, and try again.
I’m trying again. This might mean that I create healthy boundaries around me, to speak my truth, or that I pull (or come closer to) those who continue to show up for me, and love me, even if from a distance. I know there are others waiting for me to show up for them. And, to them I say, I am here.
Can you try again too?
* Mastermind Connect is a men’s collective that empowers progressive men of color realize deep connections with their passions, higher self and community. The author is a member of Mastermind Connect.